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A Letter To a One Night Stand- The Male Perspective

I am going to start this post by saying I know it is going to get a lot of heat. I am a girl writing from a guys point of view but please let me explain. I read this letter which I will be responding to 4 or 5 times. And I noticed the signs of a typical girl I see all the time and I really felt I needed to write something about it. As I have stated on this blog before I am a girl with a million guy friends and I hear all about the different women they take home. Girls, we can’t play victims we know the game. If you don’t want to be disrespected don’t disrespect yourself. Here is my fictional version of the Male side of the story. Note this is meant to be humorous but it is based in reality.

To Mrs. Last Weekend,

I want to start off by telling you my name Derek Davis. You start your letter off to me but acknowledging that you did not tell me your last name. However please think about this for a minute. Did I tell you yours? Well I must have because you were able to locate and friend me on Facebook. Did you ever think I may not have accepted it because I didn’t know who you were? Just a thought.

Also, you mention that every time you make eye contact I look away. Did you consider the possibility that the one night stand you speak of was not my proudest night? I am not the guy who goes to the bar and takes a girl home for fun. But since you didnt get a chance to get to know me you wouldn’t know that. Hopefully this letter fixes that.

Now lets speak to your “slut” definition. You ask if the clothes you wore made you into a “slut” in my eyes. The answer to that is no. If you look up the word slut in the urban dictionary you will see the first definition is “a woman with the morals of a man”. Honestly, that is how you portrayed yourself. You seemed casual and cool about the idea of a one night stand. You talked tirelessly about how much “you don’t care” how you feel in the morning and how the tequila is taking over and you “kind of like it.” I figured this was something you did pretty often and knowing many other girls like you I didn’t think it was a bad situation.

Please understand there are girls out there who will sleep with a guy once and not play victim the next day. I did not tie your hands behind your back and throw you in my car. You came willingly. You pursued me. I never promised anything for the next day. In fact in your little letter you even acknowledged that I told you where my heart was. As you so eloquently put it, “You didn’t want me to be at the party. You were hoping you’d be able to hangout with the girl you actually like who doesn’t give you the time of day, the girl who definitely isn’t sleeping with you and probably never will.” And you are right. I wanted to be with her but she doesn’t want to be with me right now. And no it doesn’t feel awesome but I can’t just sit around waiting can I. So I went out and I met you. I let my mind wander for a little bit. But you knew exactly where my heart was and you still wanted to move forward.

You make a claim that maybe part of the problem is you went home with me on the first night, but see this is where you are wrong. I could’ve respected you for that. We were in the same boat. Lonely and looking for companionship. What I couldn’t respect you for was playing the victim after and acting like I was a bad guy for not wanting to head down the marriage path afterwards. We didn’t exchange numbers, we didn’t make future plans, either one of us- to then put it on me the next day in such a public forum, that’s what I can’t respect you for.

Oh and should we discuss you sneaking out early? That was really the pinnacle of class. If you really wanted something to come out of this would you have elbowed me in the face at 4 am so you could sneak out before the sun came up? Sure you had “something to do” but it felt more like a routine you had practiced and mastered. Don’t play victim with me when its your own game you are playing and as far as I can tell from all the support you have drummed up you are winning. So congrats at that.

So next time you embark on a one night stand because you want to “kiss hot guys” and “feel attractive” remember that a guy won’t respect you until you respect yourself. Please don’t expect us to treat you any better than you treat yourself. It is unfair and uncalled for. We want to find that girl to marry as well and when we see her doing everything she can to get attention from the first guy that looks her way at the bar we see a wife who is never satisfied. If you want to be “wifed up” get your priorities straight. Having lots of men find you attractive doesn’t make you sexy. What makes you sexy is not caring what anyone else thinks. Focus on you. Be happy with you. Then the right guy will come your way.

Derek

P.S I am sorry I did not answer the 1 million text messages you sent my way. Please re- read this letter for clarification.

Bloggers, let me have it. Did this letter go to far for you?