Stop Fighting Fire with Fire

I warn you now before you continue reading that this is going to be a rant post. If you don’t want to read that I suggest you stop reading now. On top of that I should warn you that my views on this hot button topic might not jive with yours and again if that will upset you please stop reading. With that being said, I would like to weigh in on the excitement surrounding Fred Phelps death.

For anyone who does not know who this man is, he was the founder of Westboro Baptist Church. This church was highly religious but had all their beliefs backwards and full of hate. They were known for showing up and protesting soldiers funerals with signs that read “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” and Homosexual funerals with sings that read “God Hates Fags.”

The protesting didn’t stop there either, this group was known for praising such tragedies as Sandy Hook saying it was punishment from God for society accepting the homosexual lifestyle. Needless to say this guy had a lot of disgusting views and the way he went about preaching was reprehensible and offensive to so many.

That being said, as I look through my Facebook news feed the last few days leading up to his death and following his death I am really disappointed at what I see. Many people are hoping to protest this man’s funeral to give him a taste of what he did to the many people he hurt with his protests. There is a lot of celebrating surrounding his death and a lot of commotion being made. Although I can certainly see the reason for this reaction I am really disappointed that is how our society has chosen to react for a few reasons:

1) This is EXACTLY what he wanted. In fact in an interview he was asked what he would do if people protested his funeral. Want to know what he said? According to this article on CNN he said, “”I’d love it. I’d invite them,” Phelps told the reporter, according to the Wichita Eagle. “I said: ‘I’ll put in my will to pay your way. But not first class.’ ”

Knowing this, why on earth would we give him exactly what he wants? If society hates him so much we should do everything in our power to make sure he goes without even a peep. The media attention he is getting is only what he would have wanted. He should go with the least amount of controversy as possible. He thrived off controversy in his life, why hand it to him in his death?

2) Hate breeds hate. I know this is hard to hear but just because he did hateful things doesn’t mean we need to retaliate with hate. I remember an old saying that said the best way to get back at your worst enemy is kill them with kindness. That being said we should wish that in his death he finds some sort of peace that was clearly missing in his life. Hating him will not change what he did. Hating him will not restore the funerals he protested at. Hating him will only fill our own hearts with anger but it will do nothing to him or the church he leaves behind. If anything it will fuel their fire further. Lets be the bigger person here.

3) Finally, please try and remember that no matter how disgusting his beliefs were, he believed in them. He believed that what he was doing was for the right reasons. There is no doubt he was absolutely wrong and he hurt many people but he did believe in them. That being said, just because we believe we are right in hating him doesn’t make us right for doing it. Try and remember that even if we can’t agree with or understand someone they have their own reasons and in turn their own consequences. For those who believe in heaven and hell, he will be sure to pay there. For those who don’t remember that his punishment will come to him in another way. It is not our job to pass judgement or punishment.

I saw an interview done with this group by Russel Brand. And while I was shocked, the interview was actually extremely well done and I think we can all take a que from him. Check it out here:

I know this post might offend or insult people but I had to get it out. It really upsets me to see the way people are reacting and I am hoping at least one person will change the way they feel after reading it. If you made it through this whole post please let me know your thoughts on this below!



Leave Paula Deen Alone!

This topic has been rolling over and over in my head since the story broke. When I first heard about Paula Deen and the trouble she has gotten herself into, I was appalled. I first learned the story from various social media mediums and the information I got was limited. I would see statuses or tweets like “Paula Deen is racist,” “Paula Deen uses N- word and loses show,” stuff like that. As much as I enjoyed her food and thought she was an awesome T. V personality the statuses and tweets did not seem to leave any room for sympathy..until I heard the whole story.

Paula Deen

For those who have not heard the WHOLE story, I want to give you a cliff notes version. Paula Deen’s restaurant in Savannah, Georgia is being sues for racial discrimination and harassment. Paula is not personally responsibility for the suit but she owns the restaurant so she is part of the law suit and was deposed. In her deposition they asked her if she ever told racial jokes or used the N- Word. According to CNN this is a transcript of that part of the deposition:

Jackson lawyer: “Miss Deen, have you told racial jokes?”

Deen: “No, not racial.”

Jackson lawyer: “Have you ever used the ‘N word’ yourself?”

Deen: “Yes, of course.”

Deen testified that she probably used the racial slur when talking to her husband about “when a black man burst into the bank that I was working at and put a gun to my head.”

“I didn’t feel real favorable towards him,” she said, referring to the robber.

Jackson lawyer: “Have you used it since then?”

Deen: “I’m sure I have, but it’s been a very long time.”

Deen said she couldn’t remember other contexts in which she used the slur, but “maybe in repeating something that was said to me.”

“But that’s just not a word that we use as time has gone on,” she said. “Things have changed since the ’60s in the South. And my children and my brother object to that word being used in any cruel or mean behavior.”


The one thing that really sticks out at me is how this happened years ago, likely before my lifetime. As Paula Deen explained it was a different time then and frankly she lived in the deep south where things like this were more common. She was under oath and she told the truth. Why is she losing her entire empire for that? She could have easily lied on the stand and the world would have stood by her side. That is a twisted world we live in.

I am 100 % against racism but I do not think Paula Deen deserves all of the flack she is getting. I think our Country is trying so hard to look not racist that we are demonizing a woman who told the truth on the stand and admitted to at one time being a product of her time. I am sure if asked many women who grew up in the same time and environment as her would admit to the same. Maybe instead of ruining her life we should commend her for her honesty and her changing views. Paula admits to growing with the times, maybe the world can be a little more open-minded as well.

So bloggers I turn to you, how do you feel about the Paula Deen spectacle? Do you believe she should have lost her empire for this?


Relationships in the Media

The media has a way of controlling our outlook on so many things. The media shapes what we wear, what we eat and even who we date. The problem with this is the media has a way of showing the most dysfunctional relationships and making them seem almost normal. For young and impressionable girls (like myself) this can be awfully confusing. There are three relationship types I have noticed really highlighted in the media over the last year or so:

The Giant Age Gap:

Relationships like Hef and any one of his many wives is NOT normal. These girls are with him for one thing and one thing only- money. The marriages are strange and the whole living arrangement is down right disturbing. However, I myself sometimes watch “The Girls Next Door” and think to myself…hmm that wouldn’t be so bad…This is NOT O.K. Girls we need to make a vow that we will put a limit on these insane age gaps. Money cannot cross 50 years…lets have a little respect for ourselves!

The Abuser: It is sad but the media has found a way to make the abusive relationship almost seem “cool”. It is not secret Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together. For those who don’t know, back a few years ago Chris Brown hit Rihanna and the pictures surfaced on the internet. The two took a break but Rihanna is now convinced that he has “really calmed down”. Girls this is NOT o.k! Yet again we need to have more respect for ourselves than this! If a guy EVER lays a hand on you there should be NO second chances. I don’t care who he is! Why does the media show this relationship as a normal relationship?!? Both of them need help. He needs anger management classes and she needs to go to therapy for her self esteem!

The Serial Dater: I need to start this by saying I love T. Swift. She is an absolute sweetheart with absolutely adorable songs. That being said, that bitch needs to calm down in the dating world. She doesn’t hang on to a boy longer than a month before she writes a song about him and moves on to the next one. Whats worse? She invests a lot in the boys she dates even after a short period of time. For example she bought quite the pricey boy next to the Kennedy boy’s house but she is already two boys past him now. This is another example where we as girls need to have more respect for ourselves. It is o.k to be alone! This type of relationship shows us that we always NEED to be in a relationship but this is not the case! What does T. Swift need a man for? She has money, fame and fans- she doesn’t NEED anything else…she NEEDS some self esteem!

What other celeb relationships do you think the media make look normal that really shouldn’t be portrayed as normal?