Did you have a “Hoppy” Easter?

Anyone who has been following this blog for awhile knows that I go through phases where I just don’t blog. Sometimes it is hard to get me motivated. And right now with my job search going awful, I have just had no motivation. But I have missed you guys and I am going to make an honest effort to keep up with you! I have decided to get myself back into the swing of things I am going to start with a light, easy post. I wanted to tell you about my Easter :).

Normally I don’t share much of my personal life on my blog so I will keep the details to a minimum. Basically on Easter day the boy and I spent some time with his family and watched the Bruins game which was really nice. But I wanted to make sure that we had something a little special just for us as well. So on Monday night my boy came home from work to this sitting next to a pan of his favorite wings…

Did you read it? At first he didn’t either. He grabbed the scratch ticket and started talking about dinner. Lol! Once I explained there was a note he went back and said “so you are really making me do a hunt?”. Yes dear I am.

It was a short little hunt put together by one of my favorite blogs. If you wanna see the whole date and their awesome printables check them out the Dating Divas. They are pretty awesome for making a boring night pretty fun.

The night turned out so well I am already brewing up some ideas in my head for some future fun nights. I will be sure to share them as I come up with them so you can try them with your loved ones as well :).

So bloggers I have missed you all, fill me in. What did you all do for your Easter?

Sexy Baby Voice?!?!

I know many times I write on this blog about things that women do to attract men that irritate me. Well this is another one of those blogs. I am sorry ladies but there are some trends I just don’t understand. For this blog I am talking about the sexy baby voice.

Now don’t give me that quizzical look you all know exactly what I am talking about. The girl makes her voice sound about ten registers too high, she adds far to many w’s to her words and her grammar (if she even had a grasp on it in the first place) flies out the window.

Now the confusing part to me is how is this sexy? I get that acting helpless or ignorant every once in a while can make a man feel needed and give him an ego boost. For that reason sometimes the trash bag is just too heavy for me to take out or maybe a can of soup is just too high for me to reach. Let the man handle it. But my intelligence doesn’t suddenly drop dramatically and my voice doesn’t lose its maturity just because a man is around. And frankly I don’t get why I a man would want that.

Ladies if we want respect from men we need to demand it. Little habits like altering our voice to mirror a baby is really not demanding respect. We are literally asking a man to treat us like a baby by emulating one. Isn’t that the exact opposite message from all these women right’s movements and demand to be treated equal?

So my request? How about we stop sending mixed messages. If we want to be treated equal lets act that way. You want to be sexy? Dazzle them with your intelligence and firm grasp on the English language instead of taking dating tips from the nearest Kindergarten class.

30 Rock did a pretty funny episode on this epidemic, check it out here:

So bloggers, what do you think of the sexy baby voice? Do you like it or does it need to go?

A Letter To a One Night Stand- The Male Perspective

I am going to start this post by saying I know it is going to get a lot of heat. I am a girl writing from a guys point of view but please let me explain. I read this letter which I will be responding to 4 or 5 times. And I noticed the signs of a typical girl I see all the time and I really felt I needed to write something about it. As I have stated on this blog before I am a girl with a million guy friends and I hear all about the different women they take home. Girls, we can’t play victims we know the game. If you don’t want to be disrespected don’t disrespect yourself. Here is my fictional version of the Male side of the story. Note this is meant to be humorous but it is based in reality.

To Mrs. Last Weekend,

I want to start off by telling you my name Derek Davis. You start your letter off to me but acknowledging that you did not tell me your last name. However please think about this for a minute. Did I tell you yours? Well I must have because you were able to locate and friend me on Facebook. Did you ever think I may not have accepted it because I didn’t know who you were? Just a thought.

Also, you mention that every time you make eye contact I look away. Did you consider the possibility that the one night stand you speak of was not my proudest night? I am not the guy who goes to the bar and takes a girl home for fun. But since you didnt get a chance to get to know me you wouldn’t know that. Hopefully this letter fixes that.

Now lets speak to your “slut” definition. You ask if the clothes you wore made you into a “slut” in my eyes. The answer to that is no. If you look up the word slut in the urban dictionary you will see the first definition is “a woman with the morals of a man”. Honestly, that is how you portrayed yourself. You seemed casual and cool about the idea of a one night stand. You talked tirelessly about how much “you don’t care” how you feel in the morning and how the tequila is taking over and you “kind of like it.” I figured this was something you did pretty often and knowing many other girls like you I didn’t think it was a bad situation.

Please understand there are girls out there who will sleep with a guy once and not play victim the next day. I did not tie your hands behind your back and throw you in my car. You came willingly. You pursued me. I never promised anything for the next day. In fact in your little letter you even acknowledged that I told you where my heart was. As you so eloquently put it, “You didn’t want me to be at the party. You were hoping you’d be able to hangout with the girl you actually like who doesn’t give you the time of day, the girl who definitely isn’t sleeping with you and probably never will.” And you are right. I wanted to be with her but she doesn’t want to be with me right now. And no it doesn’t feel awesome but I can’t just sit around waiting can I. So I went out and I met you. I let my mind wander for a little bit. But you knew exactly where my heart was and you still wanted to move forward.

You make a claim that maybe part of the problem is you went home with me on the first night, but see this is where you are wrong. I could’ve respected you for that. We were in the same boat. Lonely and looking for companionship. What I couldn’t respect you for was playing the victim after and acting like I was a bad guy for not wanting to head down the marriage path afterwards. We didn’t exchange numbers, we didn’t make future plans, either one of us- to then put it on me the next day in such a public forum, that’s what I can’t respect you for.

Oh and should we discuss you sneaking out early? That was really the pinnacle of class. If you really wanted something to come out of this would you have elbowed me in the face at 4 am so you could sneak out before the sun came up? Sure you had “something to do” but it felt more like a routine you had practiced and mastered. Don’t play victim with me when its your own game you are playing and as far as I can tell from all the support you have drummed up you are winning. So congrats at that.

So next time you embark on a one night stand because you want to “kiss hot guys” and “feel attractive” remember that a guy won’t respect you until you respect yourself. Please don’t expect us to treat you any better than you treat yourself. It is unfair and uncalled for. We want to find that girl to marry as well and when we see her doing everything she can to get attention from the first guy that looks her way at the bar we see a wife who is never satisfied. If you want to be “wifed up” get your priorities straight. Having lots of men find you attractive doesn’t make you sexy. What makes you sexy is not caring what anyone else thinks. Focus on you. Be happy with you. Then the right guy will come your way.

Derek

P.S I am sorry I did not answer the 1 million text messages you sent my way. Please re- read this letter for clarification.

Bloggers, let me have it. Did this letter go to far for you?

Seduce Her With Bacon?!

The other day I was looking through a Men’s Health magazine and came across the headline “Seduce Her With Bacon.” Now lets overlook the obvious issue with the fact that I, a single girl, was flipping through a Men’s Health magazine and focus on the issue at hand. Seduce her with bacon. My mind went wild considering what this article could be about. Chocolate covered bacon since we all know girls love chocolate and bacon? Maybe bacon scented cologne to give your lady the smell of the kitchen in the bedroom? What about bacon patterned boxers? The possibilities are endless!

Alas, to my dismay the article was not about any of this. The article was about impressing your date with food and dining etiquette. Ho hum. So I decided to make my own Seduce Her With Bacon article that would showcase what I wanted to read. Here are the top 5 bacon related tips to seduce your woman (or man really this could work for anyone because bacon is ahhhmazzinng!).

1) Chocolate Covered Bacon: Yes it was mentioned above but because it is such an unsung food. I think the technical term for this is Pigs in Mud but whatever its awesome. I just heated up some fondue chocolate and got to dipping. This would be a fun fondue date night addition 🙂

2) Bacon Flavored Soap: Yes it does exist and you know what? I kinda like it! The smell of bacon right out of the oven is calming and powerful. Having my man have that aroma on him when he lays next to me in bed? Well I wouldnt hate it!

3) Bacon and Eggs Costume: Maybe you are a roleplaying couple? This costume will really help set the mood and get you in character!

4) Bacon Dress: Not into roleplay but still want to set the mood? This hott bacon dress will make her smile and get him excited!

5) Bacon Condoms: Nothing says sexy like playing it safe. There are bacon style condoms to make sure this safety precaution doesnt deter from the mood.

Hope this post helped start your day with a little bacon flavored laugh 🙂

So bloggers, any bacon items you would use to seduce your date?

When NOT To Pick Up a Girl

Over the weekend I was able to have a much needed night out. I decided to go to an MMA match with a few of my guys friends. For those who don’t know an MMA match is a Mixed Martial Arts Match. Basically men fight in a cage until a winner is declared. Its an actual match (not like wrestling) so blood is involved. Its not 100 percent my thing but it is pretty amazing to see how truly athletic some of these men are. The talent is pretty unbelievable.

Anyways I was with 3 men. One of the men was in training for mixed martial arts. Anyways while there a guy actually tried to pick me up. First he tried the shy way, waving me over (to talk to me away from the men surrounding me). When one of my guy friends caught on and motioned that it was not gonna happen I figured the scenario was done, I thought wrong. As the night concluded the guy found is way over to me and started chatting me up. Thank god for my friends who swooped in and got me out of an awkward scenario.

I was a walking “New Girl” episode!

But this got me thinking, was it really a good idea to try and pick a chick up at an MMA fight? Clearly any girl who is at a fight like that has a man either in the fight or by her side. Yes, I was single, but that was a very daring thing to do. I was surrounded by 3 men and it just didnt seem like the best move to me. So I started thinking do men really know when NOT to ask a girl out? In honor of this weekend’s pickup fail I decided to come up with the top 3 places (in no order) a man should NOT try to pick up a woman:

3) A funeral: Guys this one is a given. I get that the black outfit and the tears can be a bit of a turn on. Some guys even want to be able to offer that shoulder to cry on. But I am begging you please oh please do not do it. If a girl is at a funeral chances are the last thing on her mind is dating. Even if you score some face time with the girl when she is finally thinking clearly she will not appreciate the fact that you took advantage of a vulnerable situation.

Not the time. Can you see why?

2) The gym: Now I realize this one is cause for debate. However, in my opinion most girls that are at the gym are not exactly dressed to impress. Likely they are covered with sweat in less than flattering clothing. A girl does not want to feel like they need to look good at the gym. If they end up having an interest in you because you flirted then you have made their gym experience complicated. Do us a favor, don’t make going to the gym complicated for us. Find another way.

Ryan get’s it- he will wait until we are done 🙂 Thanks Ryan!

1) Work: Now I get it, some of the best relationships spawn from work. But the time to start them is NOT at work. Work is complicated enough and everyone is there to make their paycheck. If you want to start a deeper relationship with someone beyond a co-worker relationship, get to know them outside of work. But do not make the work place awkward. The moment that line is crossed there is no going back but that person will still be there every day no matter what happens.

Just no!

Guys, my point is there is a time and place for everything. I am all for fate and meeting the one but there are just some moments that are not made for meeting your soul mate. Remember if it is meant to be it will happen, don’t pick the wrong time and screw it up!

So bloggers, are there other moments you can think of that just don’t lend themselves well to asking a girl out?

Who am I breaking up with?

So we have all had break ups. We have all had that awful after shock where we have to remove their clothing, pictures and other random items from our lives so we can move on. However, the question I have is what about the family?

Alright if this is his family- maybe you should break up with them too…

When two people have a long term relationship, the family gets involved. You may become best friends with his sister. You might become shopping buddies with his mom. Maybe you are a tutor for his younger sibling. So when the two of you call it quits, is it also essential for you to break up with the family?

 

My wildly unpopular opinion is, NO! You are both adults (well o.k this opinion is under the assumption you are both adults) and you can make friends on your own. Sure, you former other half introduced you and happens to share blood with this friend of yours but they do not share a brain. If the family member is willing to keep you in their life after the break up I say go for it! There was a reason you guys bonded and I don’t think a romantic misstep should mean the ending of a friendship.

So this begs the question, how will this friendship work? Well there is one golden rule. Never and I repeat NEVER bring up your former boo with their familial relation. This means not asking how their new flame is working out no matter how badly you want to know, this means not asking if they are spending their days in a dark basement pining after you, this means not asking if they mind slipping cyanide into their morning coffee as a special gift from you. The topic must be completely out of your conversations at all time. If this rule is followed I think a continued friendship is healthy and completely O.K.

 

 

So bloggers what do you think? When you go through a break up do you break up with the family as well?

Dream Date

Alright girls, admit it, each and every one of you have this one dream date in mind that if the guy you were seeing somehow figured out what it was you would marry him on the spot. I bet some of you guys even have a date running through your head right now. The problem is our dream date is usually so incredibly personal that unless we tell the man there is no way they are going to figure it out. And lets face it- if we tell them the surprise is lost and without surprise there is no romance.

This is what surprise SHOULD look like!

So since I have accepted my fate and realized my mind reading Prince Charming will not be riding up to me on a white horse anytime soon, I decided to share my dream date with my blogging pals. But first, confession time. This dream date involves my all time favorite television show, and you know what? Its a dorky one! Alright I will say it…Gilmore Girls. Yes I admitted it. Theres something about those caffeine addicted drama queens that had me tuned in every week.

So how does this dream date involve a T.V show you ask? Well Stars Hollow (where the show took place) is a small town full of quirky characters. Growing up watching this show my dream was to live in a town like this. I also imagined all the different people I would meet and what type of character I would be (for the record I would be a Lori-lei).

Thats her errr me on the left.

For my dream date I would like to go visit the towns this show is based on. To be exact, Essex, Wallingford and Washington Connecticut. This isn’t too far from where I actually live so it could be a day trip. I would just like to see all the places that inspired this amazing show and maybe understand how the characters came to be.

 

So how is this romantic? Well as Wikipedia puts it, “Stars Hollow was founded in 1779 with conflicting legends regarding how it got its name. Although some within the town doubt the theory, the traditionally accepted legend involves two star-crossed lovers who seemed destined never to be together, until separate cosmological phenomena involving stars led them to each other at the spot where the town now exists.”

Who wouldn’t want to visit a place where a town who brought to star crossed lovers together was thought up?

                                                                      So bloggers what would your dream date be?

So he didn’t call…

Now most of us women have seen the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”. A handful of us are pathetic enough to have read the book. Well the author of the book Greg Behrendt is basically a genius in dating so I take his word for his gospel..he said:

”

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt

Amen to that! So the other day I posted a status that I thought would get raving cheers from all my lady friends. I post “Boys, I don’t care how busy you are if you go three days without talking to her you are not interested, no excuses.” It all starts off as expected, like, check, like, check, funny man hating comment, check, but then things started to spiral out of control….WOMEN DISAGREED!

First of all to all you ladies out there, repeat after me- “I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!” Feel good? Good! Now next time you want to disagree with your fellow lady friend in the battle of the sexes arena, please I beg of you do it in private! The men do not need to win their battles with a woman as their ring leader! We need to banned together even if we don’t agree. Men don’t need to know that!

Alright, now that THAT is out of my system on to the topic at hand- when a boy doesn’t call. Now the women folk in disagreement used the argument that if we want to talk to a boy we should make the effort. I’m sorry but did chivalry die? Did somewhere the roles reverse and the girls become the chasers and the boys become the chased? If that’s the case my dog and I are gonna get awfully cozy on Friday “date” nights because this girl is not interested.

Another shocker for me on this was the ones who disagreed seemed to be of the older generation. This had me scratching my head a little. Could it be that the older ladies were beginning to lose their marbles a little so they weren’t thinking clearly? Or maybe, they have been so brain washed by the man of the household model that they are trained to say what the men want them to say? No, that can’t be it because these are strong women. Maybe just maybe they actually believe that the “chase” at the start of a relationship should be 50/50.

Now, I need to make things clear. I am a girl all about putting in the effort. When I want to date you, you KNOW it. But I am not interested in becoming the stage five clinger you joke about with your friends. If I send you a text and you ignore, welp:

So this begs the question, how long is too long to go without calling your girl? For me, I stand by the 3 day rule. If you haven’t heard from him in 3 days- move on he’s not worth it.

How about you bloggers? How long is too long? And if you reach that mark of time do you call him or do you move on?

Flirtatious Fibs

Listening to my favorite radio station the other day I came across an interesting tidbit of information: According to Redbook magazine, 48 % of women lie when they flirt. Now although this didn’t at all shock me this got me to thinking, what do women lie about? I have complied a top five list of lies I think women must use when venturing out into the dating scene.

5) “No really, this is my natural hair color.”- Whether the woman’s hair is purple, rainbow or a nice bleach blonde any one woman would like you to believe her hair is natural, no matter how unrealistic that may be. As a guy who is looking to take this flirtation to the next level the best course of action is to smile and agree. Here are some suggested responses: “How do you keep it so shiny?”, “I couldn’t picture you with ANY other hair color.” “Your hair is the most natural looking in the room.” Any of these coy replies are sure to get your lady smiling and interested in the next step.

How could I not think its natural?

4) “I am actually super important at my job.”- Every girl wants to believe that without their pretty little face every day the operation will stop. However, most girls, especially ones in their teens or twenties aren’t quite as important as they’d like to be at work. But, you, Mr. New Guy, you don’t know that. So this is her big chance to seem important. Don’t go ruining it for her. Shower her with awe and praise as she tells you how important she is and how the place just couldn’t go on without her. This is her moment to shine, let her have it.

3) “I just don’t have the money to drink tonight”- Did you notice how her eyes became big like a baby deer’s and she cocked her head to the side like a sad baby animal? This is your que to get off your stool and go buy her a drink of her choice. She is by no means too broke to drink but she now has your attention and realizes there is a much cheaper way to drink than spending her money, she can spend yours. If you are interested you better buy this girl a drink or she will move on to the guy at the end of the bar with his credit card ready.

Or she might move on after you buy her the drink…welp maybe next time…

2) “Really, they are JUST friends.” Don’t get me wrong this could be the truth. But in 95 % of situations this is at least a bit of an exaggeration. If the girl you are digging has a few boys hanging around there is a reason to be concerned. She either has a mafia type scenario waiting for you to screw up enough for her to set them loose on you or she has a few back up plans just in case you don’t work out. Before you begin flirting with the “one of the guys” type check your ego at the door this girl is prepared for all you have to bring and she is packing a punch.

Just Friends

1) “I am really (insert age here)”- Any girl no matter what her age has felt the need to lie about their age when flirting. Whether it be the cougar looking to get the 20 year old or it be the 16 year old looking to find her sugar daddy- we have all lied about our age. The important part is to find out how much the age gap really matters. Is this old lady worth putting your college career on hold for? Is this adolescent worth possibly being jailed for? Just remember any time you meet a new girl chances are she is NOT whatever age she tells you she is. This number may not come out until marriage- you have been warned.

Ladies, what lies have you told while flirting with a new cutie? Gentlemen, what are some of the lies the ladies have told you?

#Teoing!

There are many internet memes that come and go but there are few that really catch my attention. I share a few laughs with Grumpy Cat and I don’t mind seeing the occasional photo of the ridiculously photogenic guy. However, the internet meme that has caught my attention lately is what they are calling “Teoing”

For those that don’t know the story here is a short summary. Manti Teo of Notre Dame football team allegedly had a girlfriend pass away to lukemia on the same day that his Grandmother died. It was later discovered that Teo’s girlfriend was actually a fake that he had met only online and corresponded with by phone and internet only. The hoax was exposed and the question now is was this a publicity stunt or was he really duped into believing that he was in a full fledged relationship with a imaginary girl.

The hilarity of this hoax has taken the internet by storm and has created the new meme called “Teoing”. The reason I am drawn to this meme is I think this is such a current issue and I feel that maybe by bringing it to light with some humor people will be more aware of the dangers of online dating. When online you never really know who you are talking to, and if you do not take the steps to meet the person in a safe, public setting there is a chance that the person on the other end is not who they say they are. Matters of the heart can be tricky and deception like this can truly leave a person wounded. It is hard to say if Teo was really duped or if he was just trying to make the news but either way this new meme will bring attention to the dangers of internet dating.

Do you have a “Teoing” meme? If so please share in the comments section!