7

When Live Tweeting Might Be A Bad Idea…

As I have mentioned in previous posts…I kind of like twitter. I don’t use it as much as I would like but when I do get on there I find some pretty funny stuff. That being said there are some things that people tweet that really baffle me. Some things just aren’t meant to be broadcasted all over a social network. Especially if it is not your business to exploit.

I don’t know how many of you saw this, but a New York based comedian, Kyle Ayers, live tweeted someone’s break up. Now, the results were pretty funny and yes I read through all the tweets. I guess that makes me part of the problem doesn’t it? But it really got me thinking that although we witness so many different events on a day to day basis that might make for some humorous jokes because we are not involved in it…we might not want to publicly share said jokes. Makes us seem insensitive. Or maybe we don’t care. Admittedly, I am on the fence on this.

However, this got me thinking. What other events that we might witness would probably be insensitive to live tweet? Don’t get your hampster wheel fired up just yet I made a nice little list for ya:

5) Job Interview: I know when I see someone walk into my part time job I have had for over ten years I judge the newbies. And yes it can be funny to comment on their clothing, attitude, chances of getting the job…ect. But in a few years they could be your boss or worse they could be the daughter of the owner. Tweet at your own risk!

 

4) Child Birth: Yes this is a magical moment. But I can assure you, your wife would not appreciate one of the most intimate and probably embarrassing moments of her life tweeted for the world to see.

3) Committing of a Crime: Any crime. Not only would you be an accessory because you saw it and did nothing but if you are tweeting you are letting a crime happen. That is just not good karma my friend.

2) Someone Getting Fired: Lets just say- you are caught doing this. You could be next. No matter how funny it is.

1) Funeral: I know it is becoming socially acceptable to take selfies here (still wrong to me) but live tweeting every emotional outburst and the fashion woes of a funeral might not be in the best taste…might not be…

Obama seems to think its okay…

 

Can you think of any events you should probably not live tweet?

 

10

Last Minute Shopping

As we are creeping our way into November it is hard to ignore that the holiday season is approaching. Now most years I am jumping for joy and more than a little prepared. In fact many years I begin my shopping in June (oh yes I love Christmas that much). But this year, given my current job situation, I haven’t even begun shopping. Not only that but I am panicking that I won’t have the money to do it. This leads me to believe I will be on the last minute shopping train.

Now this is of course not the first time I have had to come up with a last minute gift. One year I was dating someone who I had been on and off with for a few years. We had hit a downward spiral and I did not think we would be together for the holidays. So I had not purchased a gift for his mother. However, I show up to their house to celebrate the holidays and there are not only many gifts laid out for me but also a stocking. Talk about a deer in headlights!

Lucky for me I had been way to prepared this holiday season and bought extra gifts for peopl

e I didn’t actually use. I ran out to my car, grabbed a left over gift, a fancy bag someone else gave me and ran back in the house pretending I just forgot it in the car. Phew h

oliday saved! Icing on the cake? She loved it!

I recently saw an episode of Jimmy Kimmel where the guest on the show was also on the last minute shopping train and gave him some clothing from an audience member. This made me giggle and also made me realize I cannot be the only one who does this. So I am looking to my blogging friends to make me not feel so alone. What is one of the worst last minute shopping scenarios you have been caught in? Did it work out?

Enjoy this clip from Jimmy Kimmel as well to start the weekend off right 🙂

15

“Literally” means “Figuratively?” Shut the Front Door!

Okay this was not my previously scheduled post. But, the English major in me is literally cringing at the article I just read on Blogher. If you want to see the article check it out here: http://www.blogher.com/literally-now-literally-means-figuratively-are-you-literally-ok-it.

For those who don’t choose to read the article, here is the premise. Google has just added a new definition to the word literally. The second definition is: “used to acknowledge that something is not literally true but is used for emphasis or to express strong feeling.” I am not lying, see for yourself:

literally

Now there are so many reasons why this new definition bothers me. First and foremost, you cannot use the word when defining said word! It just isn’t proper and makes absolutely no sense. That would be like trying to describe a person your friend has never met to said friend and the interaction going like this.

Me: “Have you ever met Sally?”

Friend: “No, what does she look like”

Me: “Well she looks like…Sally.”

Super helpful, and super informative….not! This is not a proper definition google!

And the other reason this definition bothers me is it is just not accurate! Yes blogher explains contranyms and how there are other words that act the same way. However, has the whole world forgotten sarcasm?!

I have never seen someone use the word literally, as figuratively and not be using it in a sarcastic manner. If we start changing all definition to match our sarcastic tones then sarcasm will no longer exist. I think this is language butchering at its finest.

So bloggers, is this just an English major pet peeve or does this bother others? I would love to hear from you!

18

How My Panera Ordering Habits Made Me Facebook Famous!

So, the other day at work while enjoying a bread bowl filled with Broccoli and Cheese soup from Panera, I turned to facebook to ask a random question. “Does anyone actually eat the bread bowl when getting soup in a bread bowl from Panera?” I logged off Facebook and went about my day expecting to have one or two comments of basically yes, no or maybe. No big deal…however…I did not take into consideration how much of a big deal Panera is and how much outrage this question would cause. The responses were almost unanimous and sounded something like:

“Of course! The bread bowl is the best part!”

Now I should mention this was one of the most popular statuses I have posted hands down. People I don’t even talk to added their two cents on this. And from this I learned that I am a Panera wierdo. My weird ordering habits do not stop at the bread bowl that I never eat (does anyone else notice that it is awfully hard to pull apart and just tastes like regular bread when the soup is all gone?) Moving on….

I order only two options at Panera- either you pick two with Broccoli and Cheese and Roast beef Asiago with chips as my side or Bread Bowl with Brocoli and Cheese. I am not adventurous I play it safe. So why is that weird you ask, what could possibly be weird about this totally normal order. You are missing one ingredient- me!

To start, my side of chips are not for a nice light snack after my meal. No, my chips are to be smothered in all the soup they can hold without breaking. The more dips I do the more salt that mixes in with the soup. This is my FAVORITE part of Panera. I don’t do this with just any chips. Only Panera chips! Don’t ask why, this is just a weird Panera habit.

What else? Oh I order the Roast beef Asiago with no horseradish however I don’t eat the onions yet ALWAYS get them on my sandwich. Its not that I forget. Its that I WANT them to touch my sandwich. The idea that they were there at some point makes me feel the sandwich is somehow healthier. Like the onion juice is sopped into the roast beef now and I get some of the healthiness. Illogical- but fact.

Finally, on the days that I order a drink I don’t order a soft drink. Why? Because I order lemonade. Not because I like it better- in fact I prefer soda especially in the winter. However, lemonade comes all ready for you in the cup without extra walking or struggling with the lid. Laziness yes, however this laziness only manifests in Panera! Every other place I will get my soft drink and shuffle on over to the drink machine and make my selection. Not at Panera though. As soon as I walk through those doors I order like a side show act from a carnival. But hey at least it made me Facebook famous right?

11

The Trials and Tribulations of Babies Around the World

This post is a light hearted approach to some serious stories from all over the world. If you are not able to look at this with some humor please pass this post by as I do not intend to offend anyone. This is meant to bring attention to some serious issues without being stale and serious. This post was inspired by an office chat where we all realized that it is just not that easy to be a newborn anymore:

Lets start this tour in Argentina. In Argentina a newborn was declared a stillborn and taken from their parents without even being allowed to see them. The baby proceeded to spend the next twelve hours in a morgue locked in a coffin. The parents came to the morgue to say their goodbyes to their newborn. The mother pried the coffin open to hear the baby whimpering- she was alive. This story begs the question- do we need to add the bells back to our coffins to let our loved ones know if we have been buried alive? Do we need to reestablish the original meaning of a “Wake?”. The answers are not certain but one thing is clear this family should sue and sue for all they can get because this is a very unsettling and scary story.

Now lets head on over to China for the next story. A china woman went into labor nine days before her expected due date. The woman decided it was necessary to stop at a public restroom before heading to the hospital. This was a big mistake! The woman gave birth to her newborn child in the toilet- and then accidentally flushed her down the drain! Well, for anyone who has ever watched the drano commercials and thought that the plumbing looked like a pretty legit water slide- this baby has your insider information! The baby went critical to stable condition so the baby is doing fine other than being stuck with the knowledge that her mom flushed her down the toilet…

Finally, lets take out last stop in the UK and visit a man…this man suffered many years from pain and a lump in his stomach. One day he experienced a stabbing pain and the lump in his stomach began to protrude. This lump in his stomach turned out to be the fetus of his twin brother who died in his mother’s womb! The story doesnt stop there- the man didnt just have this fetus removed from him but decided to take it home and put it in a jar. My question is when guests come over does he now have to introduce his twin brother as well?

So bloggers, what stories have you head about the trials and tribulations of new born babies around the globe?