Make-Up does not change who I am!

This is a topic I have been toying with doing for awhile. The problem is, if written wrong it can seem a little vain. And that is by no way my attention. I want to start this post by saying if you are taking what I am saying the wrong way, please do not attack me in the comments but instead ask questions and I will be happy to clarify!

That being said, my rant today is going to be on the difference make-up makes and why I do not think it is fair. I am not sure if I have mentioned this on the blog before but I am a VERY low-maintenance girl. I love the idea of being out of my house in about ten minutes in the morning. This means that my hair hardly ever gets brushed never mind styled, I very rarely wear makeup, and my clothing is far from the chic outfits people purchase from Banana Republic. Jeans and sweatshirts suit me just fine.

Love Marilyn but this is NEVER me!

However, there are times when I just feel like looking nice. For example, the day after getting my hair cut, I tend to enjoy dressing up just a bit. Splashing some make-up on my face and adding a few curls to my fresh cut. I think when my hair looks pretty I just want everything else to match. Those same days I tend to pick a classier outfit and even break out the heels.

My issue is the reactions people have to this. I have had multiple bosses talk with me about how much better it would be if I put time into my appearance. Now they had some reasoning behind this because many jobs I have been in, I have been the focal person for the office. I have been a waitress, a front desk type person and a marketing person. All these jobs mean that my face is associated with the company.

That being said, how I choose to present myself is what should matter. I do not show up in dingy clothing with holes and dirt on them. I shower consistently and use body spray and perfume. And I have great oral hygeine. Beyond that I don’t feel anyone should be able to judge my appearance.

But this even goes beyond the work place. People in public treat me entirely differently. If I am dressed up and having a fancy day, people say hello to me, people hold doors for me, I have even had my coffee purchased for me. But those same people will walk past me without making eye contact and slam a door in my face when I didn’t take the time to “put my face on.”

I would love to say this is limited to the opposite sex. I would then be able to assume that this is based on whether or not they are attracted to me. But it’s not. My favorite coffee lady at Dunkin calls me “hunny” and has great small talk with me ONLY on the days I choose to dress up. The rest of the days she just gets me my order and moves on to the next customer.

Why do we do this? I am the same person regardless of how much effort I choose to put into my appearance that day. We should be treating people with respect because they are people not based on their appearance.

I want to believe this…but…

Do you find yourself doing this fellow bloggers? Have you ever treated someone differently based on their appearance?

16 thoughts on “Make-Up does not change who I am!

  1. Thanks for your perspective on this topic, Shae. I think you speak for a lot of women in your age group, including my two daughters. They are coming from the same place as you……don’t see the need to wear makeup to impress anyone and don’t feel the need to dress up on any given day. This is esp. true for my oldest, who wears scrubs to work.

    It has been a hard thing for me to get used to, to be honest with you. I dont leave the house without makeup, and I usually try to look my best clothing-wise, even if I’m just wearing yoga pants. I’m not doing this for anyone but myself, because it just makes me feel good. I think there is definitely a difference in generations about this topic. If you look at pictures from the 80s, when I was in my 20s, everyone had big hair and makeup. I think it’s just how we roll now!

  2. Since I’m generally a very friendly and talkative person, I probably don’t treat anyone differently just based on their appearance.
    One thought maybe is that if you’re not normally into getting fancied up, and then you do, maybe you put out some subtle energy on those days. So the vibe might be enough for people to respond to. I don’t know? Maybe some people are only feeling they can approach you then. Maybe when you aren’t dressed up your mood is quieter and people think you’d rather not talk?

    Most of the time, I prefer to be in makeup, with jewelry on, and something somewhat decent happening with my hair. Yeah, I’ll do foodshopping in a long flowing skirt with a bling peace sign necklace, and red nails… oh, yes, I will. Lately though, I’ve not been as into my appearance and have gone out without makeup, and yesterday I actually went to the grocery store (just a quick run in) wearing a shirt that I had only really been wearing to bed since it’s a little big. Horror of horrors! Hair in a hot mess and a bed shirt. GAH!
    It’s a personal thing though… not judging others… I just usually feel better when I’m painted and jeweled. 😉

    • It could be the vibe I give off I suppose. Though I will say generally I come off as a confident person- makeup or not. I am pretty good at hiding my insecurities. The actress in me I suppose.

  3. Never a big fan of make up anyway. And If i want to talk to someone I’ll do it whether they are dressed up or not. Now people may think you are happier all dressed up so they could respond to that and if not they could think you are having a bad day and not respond to you, not sure if that is it, but you never know.

  4. Mary took the words right out of my mouth because that’s exactly what I was thinking…

    “One thought maybe is that if you’re not normally into getting fancied up, and then you do, maybe you put out some subtle energy on those days. So the vibe might be enough for people to respond to. I don’t know? ”

    Perhaps you’re getting the reaction from these people because YOU feel good about yourself and you’re sending out a positive vibe and they feel it.

    Being someone who is in the beauty industry (makeup and skincare), I see nothing negative about using these products because we all want to look and feel our best. But there is a fine line between thinking that these products are going to change your life and just enhancing what’s already there.

    For me, I like to be well-groomed and looking the best I can because it’s part of how I feel about myself. Many times if I have a cold and feel terrible, I will take a shower, groom myself, and put on some fresh clothes because it makes me feel better.

    I think looking good and feeling good go hand in hand. When you feel good, you look good. And when you look good, you feel good.

    FABULOUS post topic, my friend!!!!

    Have a super weekend…x

    • I love getting your perspective! I definitely see nothing wrong with wanting to get fancied up. The problem I have is people expecting it. There are days I want to dress up. And maybe I do put out a different vibe on those days. But days (like today) when I dont feel like putting in that extra effort I really don’t think people need to judge me for it.

  5. This was really interesting to read and its sad that employers today still treat women like this. I remember watching a Mad Men episode where peggy was told to dress nicer by her employers and coworkers and thinking “I hope this doesn’t still happen today” but it does. I think as long as you’re wearing the appropriate outfit and look clean an employer has no right to make comment on your appearance or talk down to you.

  6. I totally agree with you, probably because I am a lot like you. I try to treat everyone with kindness and respect but at the same time, I feel I am a simple person. I do not dress up and I never wear makeup. I work with kids and I do not like to have to worry about my looks or being sad if something gets ruined. I am happy the way I am.

  7. It’s all about the packaging, Shae. People respond to what they see and make assumptions based on, well, pretty much nothing. I feel like I get more respect and attention if I show up in a suit and tie. It’s ridiculous, of course, seeing as how Charley Manson could put on a suit and tie, too, but you still wouldn’t want him to show up for Sunday dinner.

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