“So Much Cooler Online…”

Alright as a blogger, we all meet people from all over the world. We befriend our online companions for their wit, their support, and their stories. But lets face it, do we really know any of them?

A friend of mine, Dana, over at Kiss My List said something I really loved on this topic, “This is tough – I love so many and I hate to play favorites. It’s also difficult because although I feel like I know some bloggers so well from their writing, I don’t know how they are in person. Do they snore? Are they slobs? Are they relaxed on vacation, or does every second have to be planned? So I’m taking the cowardly way out and not answering this question, but if anyone owns a beach house and would like some company, I’m your gal! Call me.”

After some thought I decided her quote really could lend itself to such a great blog post. So thanks Dana!

Some of my blogging buddies do post photos, so there is a face to the name. But then there are bloggers like me who never post a photo because we are camera shy (I’m working on it guys). On top of that there is so much about a person you just don’t learn online. We are able to present the best version of ourselves on here and make friends for the person we strive to be not necessarily the person we are. Although that is a plus, it also means that organic friendships with some of our blogging besties might not be plausible.

This brings me to a little story from my past. I think this dates back to when I was around 20. Before my blogging times. I made my online friends through online video games, X-box to be exact. I was pretty awesome on their. Mostly because I was one of VERY FEW females. And I gotta say I loved the attention! It was a nice break from my own reality and it was a way to build some confidence. Never did I guess that I would soon be meeting one of my gamer friends.

But I did.

A guy from Georgia came and actually ended up living with me for about 6 months. And I gotta say I was the one who was so much cooler online. He never had the confidence in himself that he had online but in reality he was a pretty amazing person. I wasn’t such a great person at that time. I was mean, heart broken, and depressed. Not a ton of fun. But he liked me for all of me and did a lot to help me get through a pretty tough spot in my life.

Anyway the point of this story is, we all do this in some way. Making ourselves just a little bit better for our online personality. As the years have gone on I have let more of “me” shine through but still I would say it is the better version of me.

For those who haven’t heard the song that helped inspire this post, please listen below:

Do you guys find yourself doing this or have you met anyone who does it? I’m curious to see how many “cool” online personas are out there.

20 thoughts on ““So Much Cooler Online…”

  1. I was coming over to read, and this pingback popped up in my email – I’m rarely quoted, so I’m thrilled to inspire this post! I think I’m pretty much the same online and in person – I feel that my blog represents who I am. But I do know some bloggers have a persona online that isn’t necessarily how they are in real life. I suppose it depends on your comfort level, and what you blog about. I’m a little nervous to meet blogging friends at a conference in June, because I really want to like them in person as much as I do online. And I hope they like me too. Jeez, I feel like I’m in middle school all over again.

  2. I don’t really do the cool persona thing online but I do avoid the personal pics. Only a week ago did I finally upload a profile pic to Linkedin.
    I’m on the other side of the coin where I’m actually trying to spend more time online interacting with people and “hibernating” less 🙂

  3. I have to say that how I present myself on my blog, is how I am offline. There are some things I won’t expose on my blog, but that’s more about a privacy thing when it comes to sharing things concerning family matters or certain friendships, out of respect for them. So, I do have boundaries that I won’t share online.

    But it’s so interesting that you brought this topic up because I used to blog with someone who was VERY vocal on her blog, yet when I met her in person (because she lives here in Philly), she was nothing like the personae she gave on her blog. She was very shy and hardly spoke at all. So I guess for her, her blog was a way to express the voice she didn’t use in her offline life.

    I’ve met so many of the people I blog with in person throughout these years, and I have to say that most all of them were exactly how I “felt” them through their writing on their blogs. Almost like, old friends.

    Great post topic, girl! Have a super week!

    • I really find it so interesting trying to imagine what my blogging buddies would be in real life! I feel I am really similar to how I portray myself online but I am definitely camera shy. Not sure why that is since I have pics on other social networks. Maybe I will open up a bit about that on my blog. We shall see…

  4. Such an interesting topic! I think I represent myself as I truly am on my blog, and I also try to write like I talk. But like Ron, I don’t talk about certain relationships out of respect for privacy. I also rarely post photos of myself or my family and if I do, I take them down after a week, when I know my regulars have already stopped by. I had an awful experience on a message board back in about 2006 when a person with Munchausen Syndrome befriended me and others and caused a lot of emotional anguish. She also was posting under multiple names. Ever since then, I’m cautious with online friendships, as you really don’t know these people!

    It’s hard when you’ve pictured someone a certain way and then you see their picture and are shocked! I’ve had that happen a few times. One person, who was at least 15 years younger than me, sent me a photo online and she must have weighed 300 pounds. I pictured her like her avatar which was a petite little cartoon girl! Another person who used to blog about her sex life all the time? I looked her up on FB and she looked like someone’s great grandma! That just cracked me up! I know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but those sure shocked me.

    • Ha ha the grandma thing made me laugh out loud! I think its human nature to try and find a mental image of who we are chatting with online. I always wonder how people picture me. Maybe before I start posting photos I should do a blog post asking “what do you think I look like?”

  5. Well, we mostly ALL believe we present in print as we present “out here”, dontchathink? 😉
    I can just speak from the folks I’ve met “out here” who tell me I’m much shorter than they thought (and then tell me they had me as 10′ tall and bullet proof EVEN THOUGH I made it clear I’m a measly 5’8 1/2″!!

    They also assure me I talk like I write, I’m as playful and zany as I am when I hit publish and I’m everybit the antaganizor of he-who-puts-up-with-it as they thought…as they laugh until their sides hurt and threaten to steal my lines….BUT they also tell I’m much more compassionate and loving than I would have anyone EVER believe (it cost me $10 for the to say that….just sayin…). So….take it all with a grain of salt, I say. I, too, have a respect of privacy…but mostly I don’t name names cuz I don’t do that “out here”…quirky, but true. And I really DO do the web log for me. Go figure anyone ever wanted to read the darn thing! LOL
    I do think I’ve been horribly graced in my online relationships…and I’m not just talking the fella I married. I’ve not had run ins with an axe murderer yet….and I seem to cross paths and land in the most awesome of places. I’m just graced like that it would seem. And it’s not that I’ve not landed in places that I’ve moved on from….I have, and I’ve honoured that bit in me that said ‘move on’. I didn’t have to have a bazillion reasons, but I make it a practice to go back to ‘listen’ to what people were saying from the beginnings of their little corner in cyberspace–bit snoopy, I am! It gives me a sense of the whys and wherefores and howscomes of all of ‘this’….a feel for what you’re walking into. Other times…I just ‘know’. *laughing* I’m wierd like that. It’s how I ended up married….hahaha

    • Haha its funny people always picture you as tall. I always actually pictured you as much shorter than you say you are. I guess thats because in my head its the little ones that tend to pack the biggest punch. And it seems with your personality you pack quite a punch 😉

  6. Fascinating topic, Shae. I think it’s hard not to clean up your act for the online community. I’ve been told by friends and family that I sometimes provide too much information.

    I’ve had great experiences meeting other bloggers and in fact, I was part of a Brooklyn bloggers group that used to meet every month in a different part of Brooklyn. It was fun.

    I’m looking forward to meeting you!

    • I would love to meet you as well! I need to make it out to NYC soon! I really have only been as a school trip (long time ago). I dont mind providing information as long as I dont provide details like my precise living situation or job.

  7. It’s a fine line to balance privacy and blogging. I like to think I write like I act. I don’t reread my writing thinking about how I want people to perceive me. I’ve met other bloggers at sewing meet ups in Toronto and it’s been a very positive experience.

    Prior to meeting me, my husband was an Evercrack addict. He was in a guild with one person he knew IRL. It turned out that in the guild were a group of people who all went to high school/university together and lived a 2 hour drive away. It was decided that they would all meet at a Playdium to play games together in person. Out of that…
    My husbands friend met her husband (I met everyone at that wedding 12 years ago)
    Another member was the MC at our wedding.
    My husband made wedding videos for 2 of the couples.
    I’d call almost all of them our closest of friends.

    Sometimes good things come from cross overs from real life and online life.

    • Ha this so reminded me of my boyfriend. Every weekend he plays World of Warcraft with lots of people and he plays all night long. I would seriously love to meet the people he plays with. I am sure he would be shocked to see who are before the usernames.

  8. Well, back in the day I had an alter-ego. He was a real bad boy but oh so cool!!! I sure do miss him! Maybe I’ll bring him back out to play!

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