Alright I am not sure if this is just a girl thing, but us girls definitely have our ups and downs when we are thinking about our future and more importantly marriage. Alright maybe its not a girl thing, maybe its just me. Either way, the older I get the more and more hopeless I feel about getting married. And yes I realize it is ridiculous. I am only 25, I have an amazing boyfriend and really whats the rush? But this post is about just how much has changed in only a few years.
21 year old me was bright with promise. I had the perfect guy dreamed up in my head and I was ready to kiss as many frogs as it took to find my prince. Disney really affected this girl. I had high expectations and didn’t think anything of it. I knew what I wanted and I was willing to wait to get it just right.
As the time passed I started to get a little more worried but for the most part the hopeless romantic in me stayed intact. Each heartbreak taught me something new and I refined my perfect guy to match the lessons I had learned. Each time thinking it was good that I went through that so I know better of what I want.
But here I am now at 25. My newsfeed is flooded daily with engagement announcements, marriage announcements and yes new born babies. Each post that pops up I feel just a little more behind. And the more behind I feel the more hopeless I feel. And frankly that is just silly.
I am happier than I have ever been in my life. Things are great. But for some reason I still feel left out as I watch everyone pair off with forever in their grasp.
I found a video on Youtube and although the ages are different I think its quite perfect and it definitely made me laugh:
Does anyone else suffer from this ridiculous problem?
7 thoughts on “Left Out of the Marriage Loop”
I married reasonably young (21), and now at the cusp of 30. My 26 year old sister is pregnant with her fist kid after only six months of marriage. I will get my first nephew, which is awesome, but I still have to wait to have a kid of my own. 😦
What you feel is totally normal. I think social media is making us all fee the effects of ‘I’m the only one who must not be (fill in the blank)’
Shae, the older I get the more I’ve come to realize that it’s not about finding the perfect one, it’s more about the luck of two people who happen to be ready at the same time for marriage.
Oh geeez! Being in a 12 year relationship (and sharing a house/home and everything in it) with my girl for 10 of those years, I’m sure she feels the same thing about marriage. Seeing a lot of our friends get engaged and married throughout our relationship, it has been a major sore spot for her and we have had MANY discussions on the topic. Don’t know why I haven’t asked. Really. I am happy (for the most part) and I don’t want to lose her but I don’t know why I haven’t asked. Maybe it’s because we have both been through bad marriages and even worse divorces. I seem to always blame it on finances. Can’t afford a worthy ring. We can’t afford a wedding that is worthy enough to express our love to each other and other financial excuses. I honestly don’t know. Perhaps I think the grass might be greener elsewhere, although I know nothing will ever be PERFECT. Although I think it is more that I am happy the way things are and why change it? But I can definitely see her point.
Shae, you are young and have many years to think about marriage. It’s not like the old days when you get married at 20 and had all your babies by 25. It works different these days and some of the happiest couples I know got married at 40 or 50. You are young and cute and have a lot going for you and you will make a great wife some day. But for me, I should probably do something soon!
I didn’t feel pressure to get married, most of my friends seemed more shocked when I was! I think what Bijoux said about social media is true. It makes us see the things that we want and makes the waiting and not having ourselves sometimes harder. So MANY of my friends have kids or are pregnant and I’m like “I want one now!”. Doesn’t matter that I’m happy, that we have plans, that waiting makes sense, it still makes me ask the dr when I see her, am I to old, talk to hubby about adoption, ask if he will still love me if we can’t have kids even though I know the answer (drive him batty because sometimes you just need the crazy and irrational loved out of you and lucky him that’s his job!). I think things like Facebook sometimes play into those fears we have even if they aren’t rational and we really are happy! It is totally normal to be happy and still have part of you go I want x,y,z and it makes you a little sad. As long as you don’t let it control you and think more about the happy than the sad your good!
” Each heartbreak taught me something new and I refined my perfect guy to match the lessons I had learned. Each time thinking it was good that I went through that so I know better of what I want.”
Shae, I LOVE that! And it’s so wise of you to have the realization because it’s the truth. Each relationship brings us closer to knowing and understanding more of what we want, and what’s better for us.
LOVED the video clip. HILARIOUS!
And as always, girl, FAB post topic! Have a super weekend!
We can’t rush it I guess, and some of the ones that rush into it end up getting a divorce, so you can be glad you aren’t on that list at least
I met me ‘perfect match’ at 30. But there should be no age limit on falling in love with the right person. We change so much between 18 and 30 that sometimes the ones we think are okay during that time end up completely different in a matter of a few years. I love that video – very funny indeed!