Dear Future (Or Current) Boyfriend

Starting the year off in a new relationship can be really scary. Of course we all try to start new and not let old mistakes take control of us but of course there are some things we wish we could all tell our new flame right off the bat to kind of warn them early on about what may happen. I came across this letter that a girl wrote to her future boyfriend and I thought this was a great idea. What would we say to our new flame if we could put everything on the table to start out. This way there would be no surprises. Now of course I can’t really write my new boyfriend a letter but I can definitely imagine what I would say…

Dear Future (or current) Boyfriend,

Well if you are reading this clearly you have made it past some serious obstacles. I can be a tough girl to crack. Congrats on getting through my walls. Sad to say my friend but you have a few more bumps in the road before it is easy coasting.

I have been through a few too many bad relationships. Because of this I have major insecurity issues. I will tell you that I am scared I am gonna screw things up at least a thousand times. If I am not saying that to you, be worried, I might not care as much as I am letting on. However, if I am telling you that, rest assured this means I really like you and I am genuinely afraid that this will turn out like all the rest, a train wreck. Best way to handle this? Reassure me as often as you can. Might seem annoying but holding my hand a little longer than normal, sending an adorable text message, or surprising me on a night I wasn’t expecting to see you will help more than you know. It’s the little things that count.

On that note, trust issues, I have those in bulk. But I do try. I will worry if your ex was prettier than me, I will worry if your super awesome best girl friend is just a little too awesome and I will worry if a text message just doesn’t seem quite cute enough. Don’t worry though, this will pass. Prove to me I can trust you. Be honest with me about your past and keep me in the loop on current events in your life. Once I know there is no reason not to trust you, I will let you in. Just be patient with me. Trust with me is earned.

Another thing you should know, you are not my only love. I am sorry but Eeyore has had a place in my heart long before you came and I refuse to let him go. He takes up much of my apartment and he will continue to devour my free space. Learn to love him. He will become a big part of your life if you want to become a big part of mine. Want to make me smile? Find an Eeyore I don’t have on Craigslist or something and take me on a day trip to get him and explore a town we haven’t been to before. Trust me, this would literally make my day.

Mostly what you need to know is I am a kind hearted girl with a wall around my heart. If you are willing to take the time to break down that wall you will find a caring, funny, sweet girl. If you want easy, move along because you won’t find it here. Nothing worth having is easy, you gotta fight for the best things in life. So fight for me and I promise you it will be worth it.

Hope this little road map helps you out as you start your journey with me!


Now of course I would never send this to any boyfriend current or future but oh what a help would it be! If you could write a letter to a future or current flame of yours what would you say?

12 thoughts on “Dear Future (Or Current) Boyfriend

  1. I LOVED it!! It was so beautifully honest 🙂 I usually write letters of grievances to the men in my life…I actually read one out loud because he was too busy cooking. You sound like such a wonderful person. I understand that relationships are hard… Hell! I’m the queen of singlendom, lol. Happy New Year and the best of luck with your current beau!

    • Thank you so much for the kind words! Letter of grievances can be super cathartic but I am hoping this time I won’t have a need for one of those! We both believe in open communication and so far so good so fingers crossed!

  2. Shae, I LOVED this letter! Open and honest!

    And I giggled at this part…

    “. I am sorry but Eeyore has had a place in my heart long before you came and I refuse to let him go. He takes up much of my apartment and he will continue to devour my free space.”


    “I am a kind hearted girl…a caring, funny, sweet girl.”

    And you know what? I can believe that, just from knowing you online these past years.

    If I had to write a letter to a current or future partner it would contain, “Please give me my space at times.” And I say that because I’m someone who enjoys my alone time as well. And I think that’s important in a relationship – to have time alone or spend time with other people. I think it keeps a relationship fresh and healthy. I like to have things separate in a relationship, as well as together.

    FABU post, girl! Have a grrrrrrreat weekend!


    • You know Ronnie I gotta say I agree with you here. Alone time or time with others but away from you love is important. Its not that I want to spend time away but sometimes you just need “you” time. I am learning that more and more as I get older. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Weird…I left a comment and it’s gone. I’ve written goodbye letters to old boyfriends so they can remember what they missed but your idea is more mature.

  4. Hmmm, very honest and I am wondering if your new flame is reading your blog. Then he would know but I guess if he’s spent any amount of time with you, he already DOES know. At least some of it. It’s ok to have walls up but make sure theres a few windows for him to see in and see the real you and a even a door for him to walk through. Relationships are all about taking chances and unfortunately it leaves people open to get hurt. If you don’t let them in, they might think you don’t want them to come in.

    As far as me,,, I could write a book on what to do, not to do and what to expect. I guess that’s a whole part of the roller coaster ride that is a relationship. It’s an adventure with a lot of ups and downs and not knowing what’s around the corner is a part of it.

    I wish you the best of luck with your new guy. Hope he figures it out and is able to stick around!

    • Thanks so much for your comment Randy. My new flame does not read my blog and I wouldnt force him to but he does seem to be getting the hang of dealing with me :). I hear BY Karaoke has been cancelled for good but maybe we will find time some day so you can meet him 🙂

  5. Very interesting concept. Especially since you usually do let people in to see how wonderful you are until after you’ve already decided that you won’t date them and put just friend zone. Which is a shame because you are a beautiful, smart, amazing woman with a great sence of humor and would be a great catch for any lucky guy (oh wait this isn’t the shower you with complements one 😉 my bad:-P) anyway you expect alot right off the bat and if I could give a lil advice don’t heap the mistakes of your ex’s on each new guy right away. Give them a chance. I’m not saying let them in right away. And not everyone is gonna deserve the chance but you’ll never know who does if you don’t give them one

    • Very sound advice from someone who knows me well. I am trying harder this time around so we will see if it works out for me. Until we know though there will always be at least a small wall just in case…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s