The other day I was looking through a Men’s Health magazine and came across the headline “Seduce Her With Bacon.” Now lets overlook the obvious issue with the fact that I, a single girl, was flipping through a Men’s Health magazine and focus on the issue at hand. Seduce her with bacon. My mind went wild considering what this article could be about. Chocolate covered bacon since we all know girls love chocolate and bacon? Maybe bacon scented cologne to give your lady the smell of the kitchen in the bedroom? What about bacon patterned boxers? The possibilities are endless!
Alas, to my dismay the article was not about any of this. The article was about impressing your date with food and dining etiquette. Ho hum. So I decided to make my own Seduce Her With Bacon article that would showcase what I wanted to read. Here are the top 5 bacon related tips to seduce your woman (or man really this could work for anyone because bacon is ahhhmazzinng!).
1) Chocolate Covered Bacon: Yes it was mentioned above but because it is such an unsung food. I think the technical term for this is Pigs in Mud but whatever its awesome. I just heated up some fondue chocolate and got to dipping. This would be a fun fondue date night addition 🙂
2) Bacon Flavored Soap: Yes it does exist and you know what? I kinda like it! The smell of bacon right out of the oven is calming and powerful. Having my man have that aroma on him when he lays next to me in bed? Well I wouldnt hate it!
3) Bacon and Eggs Costume: Maybe you are a roleplaying couple? This costume will really help set the mood and get you in character!
4) Bacon Dress: Not into roleplay but still want to set the mood? This hott bacon dress will make her smile and get him excited!
5) Bacon Condoms: Nothing says sexy like playing it safe. There are bacon style condoms to make sure this safety precaution doesnt deter from the mood.
Hope this post helped start your day with a little bacon flavored laugh 🙂
So bloggers, any bacon items you would use to seduce your date?
I’ve heard of bacon flavored lip balm. Need I say more?
Ha you have heard of it or you have used it? Hmm…
OMG is this funny!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by!
Shae, what a FREAKIN’ awesome post!
And there is girl I’ve been blogging with for years who loves ANYTHING bacon, so I need to pass this post on to her. In fact, over the years she’s written countless posts about bacon everything. She even posted something on bacon BAND-AIDS, I kid you not.
“I just heated up some fondue chocolate and got to dipping.”
OMG….to DIE for because I bet the saltiness of the bacon mixed with the sweetness of the chocolate is ORGASMIC!
And I’m lovin’ those bacon condoms. What a HOOT! Perfect for the term…”Making Bacon.”
HA!
Have super week, my friend!
X
Haha I literally LOL’d at that last part. That never even occurred to me! So funny!
Thank you for sending your friend by love meeting fellow bacon lovers 🙂
Although I love bacon, by itself, I don’t really get the whole bacon craze. Bacon with ice cream and other things that just seem to match up well doesn’t interest me. I love BLT’s and bacon with eggs but that’s about it. I guess the only type of girl that I think would be attracted to a whole lotta bacon would probably have to be a real pig. Lol!!!!
Well then this girl must be a pig because I love me some bacon 🙂
lol never knew one could be seduced by bacon. That dress sure may seduce and role play away, how do you like your eggs? lol
Haha that was a great response! And really Pat you can seduce with anything if you have the right stuff…
Thanks for the great tips! Now it’s time to got out and meet the ladies…
Lol let me know how that works out for you!
Ron sent me here. I tried bacon-flavored jelly beans once, and they were not good. Neither was the bacon flavored vodka I bought, despite promises that it would make a really good bloody mary. The chicken fried bacon, on the other hand? Bueno. Muy bueno.
I think I might have a problem…
Where one sees a problem I see a great trend starting. You are learning what is great bacon flavored and what isnt soon you will have all the secrets. I bow to you bacon guru.
“go out” of course….duh…
Hummmmmm.
Nothing kosher about dressing up as a slab of bacon, hoping to sizzle…says the nice jewish girl! 😉
Sorry…..just haddta!! ROFL
Haha well touche my friend. But as a huge fan of bacon I wouldnt mind a little sizzle on a nice night out 😉