And She Updated Her Relationship Status to Single…

According to the Wall Street Journal, “More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook, according to a survey by Divorce Online, a UK-based legal services firm. And over 80 percent of US divorce attorneys say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases using social networking, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.”

This statistic is from 2011 and although I searched I could not find the statistic for 2012. However, I am quite confident that this number has not dropped- in fact I am confident the number has increased. Although I could allow this post to be another rant about how privacy is lost in our lives, I have decided against this. Instead I have compiled a list of the top ten ways I believe Facebook could have made it into the Divorce Filings:

10) He tended to his Farm and Mafia on Facebook more than he tended to his own family.

9) When I saw he was a level 50 in Cafe World on Facebook I assumed he was an amazing Chef, I found out he was only a fraud he can’t even cook a poptart!

8) He always tells me he is too busy to answer my calls or read my text messages yet Facebook tells me he is online and available to chat- clearly there is a disconnect.

7) I found out he was cheating on me- he used scrabble word finder when he played Words With Friends with me on Facebook.

6) Every time he told me he was working late , he “checked in” on Facebook at the local bar.

5) He “liked” every picture she posted on Facebook but said “she’s just a friend, oh baby you, you got what I need…” I digress…

4) He spammed my wall on Facebook with political posts yet when asked who Joe Biden is he stared at me blankly.

3) He stopped “poking” me on Facebook, this must mean he found a new poke buddy.

2) He always has zero messages in his Facebook inbox, clearly he is deleting them because he has something to hide, alternatively he has no messages because he has no friends, either way not the man for me.

1) He de-friended me and then blocked me on Facebook, I feel it is safe to say it’s over.

I hope these made you laugh at least a little. If you have some snarky ways Facebook could have made it into a Divorce filing please share in the comments! 🙂


11 thoughts on “And She Updated Her Relationship Status to Single…

  1. Shae, this post is STELLAR!

    And I can TOTALLY believe the statistics about divorce filings having the word Facebook in them. I was never a big user of FB, so last year I deleted my account. I’ve heard countless stories on people’s blogs about all the stuff that goes on there and that’s it’s not as private and secure as people think it is. I know most of the world loves FB and find great use for it. But to me, it distracted me too much from blogging.

    LOVE your list!

    “3) He stopped “poking” me on Facebook, this must mean he found a new poke buddy.”

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha! HILARIOUS!


    • I am so glad you got a laugh out of this Ronnie! I have to admit I am an avid Facebooker (is that a word?) but I definitely agree that the extent to which it controls our lives is absolutely absurd! So glad you stopped by!

  2. Haha! Personally, I don’t think there could have been much of a relationship in the first place if social media could get between them. And if he’s dumb enough to make a check-in at the local bar when he’s told her he’s working late… well, I’d want a man who’s a little smarter than that anyway. thanks for sharing!

    • Hi Bonne! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I agree with you 100 % when you said “I don’t think there could have been much of a relationship in the first place of social media could get between them.” That is really why I decided to do this post. For one, i wanted to give everyone a laugh. But, also he absurdity of the stat struck me and the fact that I wasnt surprised definitely showed me there is a problem with modern day marriages and the affect social media has on them.

  3. LMAO those relationships are so sad it’s funny. Anyone who messes around on facebook and all that junk relationship wise is doomed. But at least it’s fun for u to watch.

  4. That’s funny!
    I can say that my hubby and I are NOT friends on FB. lol I have done Myspace, blogs and FB for some time but he only got into FB because he friends from school were on there. Because I am very social (a very happy and chatty Sag!) and he’s a more introverted Scorpio, he would have more difficulty understanding my humor on some posts. He knows this. And I don’t have to censor myself as much knowing he isn’t a ‘friend’. Silly, I know, but it works for us.

    • That is definitely an understandable position! Facebook is the cause of so much drama in relationships it makes sense that you are your hubby wouldnt want to burden yourselves with that silly drama!

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